Soak up the Enlightenment!

Every time, I swear!

2007-05-27T18:03:00.001-07:00

Well, the school year is almost over, and I can say I am definitely happy about that. This year has brought some good times and some really frustrating times. This quarter has been especially trying. The Registrar's Office never sounded so good.

The television season is over, and all in all it was pretty good. Veronica Mars had a decent season. Definitely not as good as the first two, and for its last season, it didn't have a very good send off. Lost had the best finale by far. Great storytelling, and finally, after two seasons, it seems like Jack is back in the role of leader. Where he belongs. It blew the Heroes finale out of the water.

Speaking of which, I saw all three "Threes" this May, and Pirates was by far the best. Still not as good as the first, but that climactic scene is one for the books. Definitely worth the three hours spent in the dark. And definitely more entertaining than Shrek or Spider-Man. Only one more "Three" to go, and Jason Bourne has yet to disappoint.

Finally, can someone please explain to me why everytime I fall for a girl, she always ends up being from England! Seriously. But, as they say in Pirates, it can be worth it. Just depends on the one day. And I had two!

I know there should be criteria, but...

2007-05-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

I recently read this article online:

Drunken Pirate’ sues school that nixed degree

Woman lost teaching degree over Myspace picture showing her drinking

MILLERSVILLE, Pa. - A woman denied a teaching degree on the eve of graduation because of a MySpace photo has sued the university.

Millersville University instead granted Stacy Snyder a degree in English last year after learning of her Web-published picture, which bore the caption “Drunken Pirate.”

“I dreamed about being a teacher for a long time,” said Snyder, 27, who now works as a nanny.

The photo, taken at a 2005 Halloween party, shows Snyder wearing a pirate hat while drinking from a plastic “Mr. Goodbar” cup. It was posted on her own MySpace site.

Although Snyder apologized, she learned the day before graduation that she would not be awarded an education degree or teaching certificate.

Jane S. Bray, dean of the School of Education, accused Snyder of promoting underage drinking, the suit states.

The federal lawsuit seeks at least $75,000 in damages. Millersville spokeswoman Janet Kacskos referred questions to a state System of Higher Education spokesman, who declined comment.

Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18372103/

It just makes me a little frustrated at the assumptions some people have. Why would you assume a 27-year-old drinking at a Halloween party would promote underage drinking?

I think she has a case.

I had a dream (sicle).

2007-04-02T01:51:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream. I'm going to try and remember it all to convey to you. It was one of those random dreams that went from one stream of consciousness to another, with the common thread being...me. And Western.

So, it starts out (that I can remember) with me on campus, specifically south campus by Arntzen Hall. All of a sudden, my friend Heather appears. This is weird, seeing as how she's currently teaching in Japan. Apparently she's returned. Yay! So we converse for a while and everything's dandy, then along comes Dr. Sattler, a professor at Western. They say hi to each other and hug, like they haven't seen each other in a while. Now, as far as I know, they've never actually met, but you wouldn't know it from the way they were getting cozy with each other. Nothing gross, just...more than necessary. Well, it was a little gross considering the fact that he's a prof here. Anyway, moving on...

Next thing I know, Heather and I are in the cafeteria in Arntzen Hall. Which doesn't exist. But there was one in my dream. I'm getting my food, and I notice that my portion of meat sandwich-thing is very small. I decide to complain. I leave Heather to go up to the cash register, which is being manned by some unknown girl, accompanied by Felicia, a girl in the class I just TA'd. As I'm complaining about the small portions of my unknown meat and bread product, I notice that Felicia is holding her eye in pain. She says there is something in it. I offer to check it out. My dream then does a CSI zoom-in to her eye. Very close. I notice a speck, so I try and get it out. As I reach into her eye, more specks appear.

Next thing, I'm walking back to where Heather is sitting with our common friends (totally fake people, since we don't really have any friends in common). Apparently, I gave up on Felicia. As I get back to the table, Unnamed close friend of Heather's says, "Wow, you were loud!" I'm not sure of what to make of this. I thought I kept controlled while I was complaining about my small portion of meat and bread product. She says, "You know, over there. Five minutes ago." Interesting that it was exactly five minutes ago. Anyway, I realize that she is insinuating that Heather and I had been doing something inappropriate in some closet and we were really loud. This confused me, since I had spent the last ten minutes or so complaining about the very small portions in the cafeteria and trying to help Felicia with her eye problem, so there was no way I could have been doing anything inappropriate in a closet with Heather.

And that's when my dream ended. Well, that's all I remember.

Well, that was different.

2007-04-01T21:04:00.000-07:00

This weekend rocked.

I headed down to Everett on Saturday for two birthday parties. The first one was at Traxx in Mukilteo. For those of you unfamiliar with Traxx, it's an indoor racing joint where you can race around really fast in tiny go karts. So much fun. The only crappy thing was that we each put down $17.50 to wait around for two hours for our turn, only to have a race that lasted all of five minutes.

But they were five glorious minutes.

Let me say that while I had sweet adrenaline (whoops, I'm in science so I should know better. Sweet epinepherine) running through me the whole time, I sucked. I came in 7th out of 12. But I can blame it on the fact that most of my family and my brother's friends (oh yeah, it was my brother's birthday party) had raced there before. I had not, so it took me a while to get used to it. Also, I was stuck behind someone who I think was my sister for half the time. Argh.
After that, most of us went off the the second party. This one was for my new nephew, Easton. He turned 7, and the party was at the Reptile zoo in Monroe. Crazy and creepy. There was this black mamba (the deadliest snake in the world) that would follow me, just waiting to strike. Even creepier was the anaconda, who just sat there....staring. At me.

Today I went and saw Shooter with my sister and Haley. A decent flick. They had Marky Mark to stare at. I had Kate Mara. We were all happy.

But the craziest thing happened tonight as Haley and I drove home. We stopped by Haggen to get supplies for her April Fool's Day pranks, and let me tell you, we got the mother of all prank items. Now, since she hasn't followed through with the prank yet, I can't say what it was, for fear of ruining the prank, but I assure you, walking through Haggen with it in my hands was quite humorous. And, we got it for free!

School starts on Tuesday. Yay. This means tomorrow will be full of meetings and organizing and getting school stuff. Good times.

PS- I transposed this blog from my Myspace blog that I just finished. But, since no one involved with the prank will read this one, I can tell you: It was a fish head!!!! Oh yes.

Crazy People.

2007-03-12T16:22:00.000-07:00

I've had my Myspace profile set on private for the past few months because of the fact that I'm a TA, and it may not be good for my students to read some of the stuff on here. Last week, I took it off private so that someone could check out my profile, and within minutes I started getting all these friend requests from random people I don't know. What the hell?

No. I do not want to check out your webcam.

No. I do not want to check out your nude pics on your website.

No. I'm not interested in becoming friends with a 19-year-old alcoholic guy from Florida.

I'm going back to private right now.

If you have a reasonable doubt, you should find the defendant not guilty.

2007-02-26T11:52:00.000-08:00

As I sit here listening to the trial of the State of Washington v. Peter Bennett, I am moved to words. Here they are:

For Lent (even though I am far from a practicing Catholic), I'm going to give up meat. Sort of. I'm going to finish off the meat that I have left (one can of tuna, one can of chili, and one can of salisbury steak stew), then no more! Unless of course, I'm at a family event and there are no alternatives. I'm doing this for health reasons. I couldn't care less about the animals! Ha ha ha! Anyway, this should be fun.

I hate house parties. More specifically, I hate undergrad house parties. They're all the same. Saturday night, Amber and I went to this party. We were there all of one minute before we decided it sucked and got the heck out of there. Something about drunk undergrads getting trashed on Busch Light and gyrating to really loud bass just doesn't do it for me.

I'm still trying to get over the death of Sheriff Lamb on Veronica Mars. Seriously. Did not see that one coming. He will be missed.

I think I might have an idea of what I'm going to do my thesis on. Good times. Now I just have to build up the will to actually research it.

For Good.

2006-10-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

This post was supposed to go up 10/1/06:

Friday night I made the trip down to Seattle to see the musical "Wicked."

Oh. My. God.

I knew it would be good, but I didn't realize how great it really is.

For those of you who don't know, "Wicked" is the story of Oz before Dorothy dropped in. The Wicked Witch of the West and the Good Witch of the North were best friends in school, and it's essentially the story of how they meet, become friends and finally how the Wicked Witch becomes, well, Wicked. It's to "The Wizard of Oz" what the latest three episodes of Star Wars are to Eps 4-6. Except about a million times better. Which, to be honest, is not that hard.

From the set design to the music to the songs to the acting, this was definitely the best entertainment (books, music, movies, shows....everything) I've experienced in a long time. Up until now, "Rent" was my favorite show on stage, and "Moulin Rouge" my favorite musical, but this blew them both away. The sheer emotion in the theater house at the end of the first act as the Wicked Witch realizes her power of flight and escapes from the henchmen of Oz was palpable. I kid you not when I tell you the energy from the stage transferred to everyone there.

We were cheering for the slightest things. At least ten times the actors had to wait for the audience to stop cheering to continue. And I'm not talking at the end of songs when the audience usually claps. I'm talking little things. Example: We cheered for almost half a minute when the Wicked Witch gave another character a thumbs up. That minor, but perfect in context. Also, the timing of the word "blonde" caused us to cheer for just as long.

Which brings me to my next cheer: Shoshana Bean, who played Elphaba (the real name of the Wicked Witch) was a force of nature. Anyone who's been in the theater knows how difficult it is to keep interesting when it's just one person on an empty stage, but she did it. I have never, ever seen anyone command the stage as she did during "The Wizard and I." People in the house almost jumped to their feet. In fact (and I can't be sure, since I was in the waaaaaaaaaaay back), but I think she broke character for a second because of all the cheering.

Finally, I almost got choked up during the final song, "For Good." This is a fantastic duet between Elphaba Wicked and Glinda the Good, just as the Wicked Witch is about to meet her fate at the wrong end of a bucket of water by that obnoxious farm girl.

Okay, so this was boring for most of you. But if you ever get the chance, see this show. It was amazing.

I come to you now, at the turn of the tide.

2006-09-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

I was talking with my family over the weekend, and the topic turned to television. We came to the conclusion that something is happening with respect to the quality of television, and for the first time in....EVER....it's a good thing.

I may be jinxing things, but it looks like the horrible era of crappy, dumbed down television is coming to an end. There was a period a few years back when it seemed like the networks were going to scale back on scripted dramas and comedys to make more room for reality shows that were witnessing a boom in ratings, thanks to Survivor and American Idol. I know you all remember the slew of shitty, third rate shows that came out, all attempting to cash in on America's new fad. Temptation Island, anyone? Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Oh, pick me!!!

Thankfully, those seem to have gone away.

Now (and I'm not the only one to think this), it seems that the networks are finally realizing that America can handle more than gratuitous sex and shocks. We have TV shows with stories that last whole seasons (or more!), not just episodic arcs that finish up in 44 minutes. We have Lost. We have the Sopranos. We have Deadwood. And we have Veronica Mars, which, if you know me at all, you know I think is the greatest show on TV today. We have shows that emphasize characters over meaningless, forced plots. Watch Gilmore Girls for a while and tell me how boring the relationship between a mother and daughter really is.

Not only that, but the shows coming out this Fall season look to be some of the best in years. I've seen the pilot for Studio 60, and let me tell you, it's gonna be great. Of course, I would expect nothing less from Aaron Sorkin. I'm also freaking out about Heroes, Six Degrees and The Nine.

So, that's my opinion of this Golden Era of Television.

Naturally, I won't be able to watch any of it, since School will take over my life for the next seven to nine years.

Looks like I'd better stock up on VHS tapes.

Meanwhile, Four Months Later...

2006-09-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

Well, it's definitely been a while since I've posted on here. I thought I'd return with some random comments:

Today I became a resident again. At least in the eyes of WWU. F California, I'm back home!

I also thought I'd share a few comics / pics with everyone. These brightened my days over the past few months:

Sorry if you can't read the comics.

I really had more to say, but I'm feeling a bit of writer's block coming on.

I'm now in the Pirate house with Kyra,

Deanna,

and Blake:

It should be a fun year. Grad school is a little daunting, but everyday it gets closer to starting, I get less terrified.

A couple of other things coming up for me:

On the 29th, I'm going to be heading down to Seattle to see Wicked. I still don't have someone to go with. Any takers? Attractive, available women, ages 21-26 are preferable.

And on October 3rd, I get to hang out with Brooke, who I haven't seen in almost two years. I can honestly say I'm probably more excited about this than anything else right now, but with my luck, I'll have a 20 page paper due the next day, so our night will be lame. Argh.

Okay, I should probably get back to work.

Another post no one will care about.

2006-05-27T04:53:00.000-07:00

Just so we're clear, Wonderfalls is another great show. Unfortunately it was cancelled after four episodes, but you can still get it on DVD!

And to show you all why you should support and spread the word about Wonderfalls, here are some choice quotes:

"You may be the universe's butt-puppet, but I'm its right-hand fist of fate. And tonight... accounts are comin' due."

"Wait, I can't let you give me your last eight dollars. Here's five back."

"Your sister's not a cold-blooded murderer. She's never been a planner."

"I am a lesbian. The reason I'm not attracted to you is because your genitals are on the outside."

"I don't have a choice; I'm a puppet. The universe just sticks its hand up my butt, and if I don't dance, people get hurt!" "I have to disagree. I make good life choices. Mostly because they're forced on me, but I make them. And I find myself in unpleasant situations all the time. You know why? Because even if you have a choice it can and will be taken away from you. We're all fate's bitch. You might as well go ahead and bend over for destiny now."

"He's much more Jewish than I am. Mostly because he was born that way. I'm sort of a Christmas and Easter Jew."

Deadwood. The Shakespeare of the future.

2006-05-27T04:12:00.001-07:00

This is one of my all-time favorite shows. Period. The characters are vivid and memorable. Even the ones that died four episodes into the series resonate to this day. But I have to admit, sometimes this show is harder to understand than Shakespeare. Plots about government takeovers and gold mining are made all the more difficult to understand by the fact that these people talk like they're from 16th century England. Check that, they TRY to talk like that. I think the people in the Wild West tried to act like they were civilized by talking like they think high society would talk. Unfortunately all they succeed in doing is taking what could be said in five words and and expanding it into a full paragraph.

But I love it anyway.

Another great thing about this series is that the episodes aren't like episodes at all. The season is the episode in these people's lives, and it's just broken up into 13-14 parts, each one taking place right after the other leaves off. I'm watching the 9th episode of the second season right now, and I think only three or four days have passed in that time. Sometimes nothing really big happens in an episode, but it remains interesting because the characters (and there are A LOT of them) are so well-drawn that you are really invested in the small things, like staking a claim or whether the biggest asshole in the camp can pass a stone without dying. Seriously.

Deadwood. The Shakespeare of the future.

I recommend it to everyone, but make sure you start from the beginning and watch every episode; otherwise you'll be totally lost. Oh, and they swear. A lot.

And that's the end of that.

2006-05-27T04:12:00.000-07:00

Well, today I put in my notice at the second job. Working 11pm to 7am on top of my day job was just getting too much for me. That, and I never realized how much of a social life I actually had until I wasn't able to do any of it.

I feel bad too. I just started working there in March. I felt like I was breaking up with a girlfriend. I said I would be there long-term, and I just up and quit.

Oh well.

I've still got a few more weekends to go.

So Dark, The Con of Dan Brown

2006-05-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

Unless you've been living under hypothetical rock for the past few years, you know of The Da Vinci Code. I know that many of you love this book. I did not. I liked it, but love it? No. It had good ideas, but I don't think Dan Brown will be getting any awards for writing any time soon. He's just not a great writer. Period.

When I finally succombed to the pressures of my peers and read the thing, I'll admit, I was caught up in the story. But when I finished it, I wondered, "How the hell are they going to make this into a movie?"

The entire book consists of people talking. That's it. Talking. All those chase scenes in the movie trailer? Not in the book. I just couldn't imagine the movie being that interesting.

Now it looks like I've been proven right. Currently, The Da Vinci Code sits with a 0% on the Tomatometer. That means that of all the critics who have published reviews so far, not one recommends the movie. And most give the same reason I suspected from the beginning: Long, boring, talky.

So sad.

But I'm sure it'll make a lot of money.

United 93

2006-05-05T10:15:00.000-07:00

I feel exhausted. That's the only word I can use to describe myself after seeing "United 93." Emotionally exhausted. Drained. And yet, I can't help but feel a greater and deeper respect for those that lost their lives on September 11, 2001. It's seems a little wrong to say it, but I thought this was a great film. As I was watching it, I was overwhelmed with the same feelings of loss and confusion I felt four and a half years ago. Because it takes place in the moment, with no hindsight or foresight, I believed the reactions on everyone's faces, and I was back on that day, not knowing what was going to happen next.

But I did know what would happen next. This made me feel a great sense of dread from the beginning, because I knew that these people would not survive.

For anyone who can stand it, I highly recommend this movie.

Week 1321

2006-04-22T00:25:00.000-07:00

Just to show you how boring it can get here at the night job, yes, I just calculated how many weeks I've been alive. I thought it would make an interesting Blog title. Yay for me.

This has been quite a week for news and small events.

On Sunday, my brother proposed to his girlfriend of....I'm actually not sure how long. A while. I saw this coming a mile away. He's quite the changed man now. If you would have asked me to predict this five or six years ago, I would have replied with a confident "No way." I guess we all have to grow up sometime. Maybe I should start on that.

On Monday, I found out that the second season of Deadwood is coming out on DVD. To you, my loyal readers (all three or four of you), this may not mean much, but Deadwood is one of the better shows out there and it's only on HBO, which means I can only watch it on DVD. I'm as excited about this as I was about Serenity coming to the theaters, and you all know how much that is.

Last night I went out to the bars with Jennifer and Kyra, and decided that I'm going to be taking over Jen's room in the Pirate House next year. This is great, because they are all cool people, and having a place to stay (right next to campus, no less) is a load off my mind.

Today (well, yesterday by now) is my sister Kristen's birthday. She's turned the big 21, plus 5, plus 2, plus 4, plus 2. I wasn't planning on getting her anything (because I'm really cheap and broke), but as I was calling her today to wish her a Happy Birthday, I thought of the perfect (well, at least a decent) thing to get her. It's the least I can do, since both she and her husband Trevor have done so much for me and I'm deeply grateful and in debted to them. Also, in other entertainment news, it was announced that they are actually going to make another Star Trek movie. At first I laughed at this, because with the exception of First Contact, the last few have been good at best. Then came this: J.J. Abrams will be directing it!!!!!! For those of you who are unfamiliar with this great man, he is the creator of two teeny tiny shows called "Alias" and "Lost." Hell yeah!

Finally, Saturday (now today), I'm heading down to Everett for Kristen's birthday shindig. I find it funny that whenever I tell people that I'm heading south for the weekend, I say I'm going home. Clearly, this is not the case, since I haven't lived in Everett for over six years (not including my brief stay upon my return from SoCal). I wonder why that is. Also, I'm going to be hitting the Everett nightlife (you may proceed to laugh) with my old friend Stephanie. I ran into her briefly back in October at the Sausage Fest, but before that, I hadn't seen her since high school. It should be fun times.

So that was/is week 1321.

Exciting News!!!!

2006-04-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

The second season of Deadwood is coming out on DVD next month!

Hell YEAH!!!!

Oh, and my brother just announced that he's engaged, which is awesome.

I'm waiting for my real life to begin...

2006-04-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

Because so many people have inquired about the quote I put on my MSN Messenger thing, here are the full lyrics for the song. It has much more impact in context (the Scrubs episode, "My Philosophy") , but it's a great song nonetheless and it's meant a lot to me at this time in my life.

Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

by Colin Hay

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

On a clear day, I can see a very long way...

Why I hate Scientology....Part 2

2006-03-23T23:12:00.000-08:00

I am no longer amused. After my last post, I was directed to an article in a recent Rolling Stone. I urge you all to read it, because it explains more than you'll ever want to know about Scientology. I warn you though: It's long.

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/9363363/inside_scientology

I no longer hate Scientology because I don't know anything about it. I do now. And more than ever, I am convinced that it is a cult. Once you read the article, I'm confident you will feel the same way. It is not a religion, it is a business. Nothing more. Complete with brainwashing and everything. I am in absolute shock that anybody would fall for the kind of bullshit they shovel out.

Alright, I'm done.

Why I hate Scientology...

2006-03-23T10:36:00.000-08:00

All this talk in the news lately about South Park and Tom Cruise and Scientology has made me think. Here's what I think:

1) I wish Tom Cruise would shut up. I have nothing against him personally. In fact, I think he's a great actor. I loved Magnolia, and he's solid in everything he does. I plan on seeing Mission Impossible III opening weekend. He just seems loony when he talks about Scientology. Loony. The whole "cure schizophrenia with vitamins" thing makes him look like a complete retard.

2) I hate Scientology. I hate it because I know nothing about it. No, that's saying it wrong. I hate it because whenever I try to learn about it, It won't let me. Any other religion I can go online and learn about its beliefs, history, etc. But not Scientology. I went to the Scientology website and if I even want to learn ANYTHING about it, I have buy the product. What kind of bullshit is that? Why is it that the religions I don't give a shit about (Jehovah's Witnesses, Latter-Day Saints) are busting down my doors to tell me about them, but the one I'm curious about is acting like a private club where you have to buy a membership?

That's all I have to say about that.

A Terrible Beauty

2006-03-20T08:16:00.000-08:00

What is it about revolution stories that get me going? Serenity, Trinity, any Final Fantasy game...they're all about a person or group of people who stand up against tyranny. But Saturday night I saw a movie that makes the rest pale in comparison for the simple fact that it could happen. There are no Sci-Fi aspects involved. And it proves the point that terrorism is all in the view of the beholder.
In a country that has given up its personal freedoms for the illusion of security (sound familiar, anyone?), where gays, non-caucasians and non-Christians are killed, where one person is executed for having a copy of the Koran in his house; one man takes it upon himself to start a revolution. Yes, he kills. He is not a kind man. He has no face and no name. He goes by V.
What I loved about this movie is that it leaves the audience with ideas. At what point do we decide our freedom has be sacrificed too much? Why do we blindly believe what our government tells us without asking questions? This movie hits hard. There are parts of dialogue from the protagonist (because is he really a hero?) that will remind us of 9/11. They even made me cringe a little. But I found myself siding with the hero nonetheless.
I had read the graphic novel that it was based on, so I knew the basic storyline, and I am pleased to say that the changes they made were for the best. For the most part. Namely, the fact that they kept the best line in the entire story. Near the climax (of the movie, it's different in the book), V has fought off countless soldiers, and has been riddled by bullets, yet he still stands. The final villain asks him how he can still be standing after being shot so many times. V responds:
"Did you think to kill me? There's no flesh or blood within this cloak to kill. There's only an Idea. And Ideas are bulletproof."
Remember: The instigators of the Boston Tea Party were called terrorists. Today we call them patriots.
I can honestly say that "V for Vendetta" is the best movie I've seen in a while.

Elizabethtown

2006-02-10T14:36:00.000-08:00

I know a lot of people didn't like this one. And I agree, it's definitely not as good as Cameron Crowe's better movies (Almost Famous, Say Anything), but it does have its moments. I enjoyed it.

There is a scene in Elizabethtown that moved me in the same way the Tiny Dancer scene did in Almost Famous. Although not to the same extent, and it comes just a little too late. It is the scene where Drew takes the road trip. Very well done, and it just made me happy. I just wish they didn't end it with a cliche.

I also was blindsided by the fact that the movie isn't really about the relationship between the two leads. The ads made it seem that way, but it's really about Drew finding his roots. So while I recommend it, realize that the love story is only about a third of the movie.
The flaming bird was a little too much.

And really....would anyone in their right mind name a shoe (or ANYTHING) Spasmotica? I don't think so.

A note to original Voicemailers...

2006-02-10T14:35:00.000-08:00

When coming up with a creative voicemail, be sure it won't embarrass you when someone from the professional world calls you.

1) Something funny and original is good.

2) Talking in a breathy voice, acting like you're someone else and trying to titillate the caller is not good. In fact, it's annoying and it makes the caller question your sanity and intelligence. Among other things.

And yes, I know Voicemailers is not a real word.

Junebug

2006-02-10T14:34:00.000-08:00

"God loves you just the way you are, but he loves you too much to let you stay that way."

Normally, if I were to hear this, I would laugh my ass off. Those of you who know me, know this to be true. It is just the kind of cheesy crap I make fun of. Yet, this time, it was so poignant. I felt a kind of heartbreak.

If Amy Adams doesn't win the Academy Award this year, the voters are on crack.

You might be a loser if.....

2006-02-10T14:33:00.000-08:00

If you need your parents to order your transcripts (see also: fill out application, discuss fines, etc.), YOU DO NOT BELONG IN COLLEGE. This is especially evident when your father calls and you are IN THE ROOM!!!

If you are the parent in this case, it's time to cut the umbilical cord. Let them go.....they will be better for it.

Those who currently reside in third world countries are exempt.

Random Thoughts....

2006-02-03T14:58:00.000-08:00

If Paris Gellar were a real person, she would be my dream girl. I would settle for Liza Weil, except she's an actress and would have nothing to do with me.

Sodexho and various people who work for that company are all whores. Look at the name. It's in there.
This does not apply to the following people:
1) Shannon's friend Marie. I'm fairly confident she's not a whore. Even if I did, I wouldn't say anything because I'm equally confident that both she or Shannon could kick my ass.
2) The girl at the register today who didn't charge me for my Feta Salsa.
3) The few people who decided (or forgot, or didn't know to) mark my Microwrap with the extra $0.59 to get Feta Salsa.
Everyone else is a whore, especially those people who give me insanely small portions on my microwrap or chicken burrito, essentially screwing me out of my money. Get it? Whores.

George W. Bush is a whore. This is not an actual random thought, but a calculated one. Nor is it an original thought. If required, evidence can be supplied to back it up.

The person who sued a hotel for $5 million because it had bed bugs needs to get a life.

Jack Black is my hero.

2006-01-25T14:30:00.000-08:00

Last night I went and saw King Kong. I loved it. With a passion. However, I couldn't help but be distracted by a few things that took me right out of the movie. I have nothing against the big ape, or the dinosaurs. They are part of the movie. However:
1) Try and keep Kong the same size. It's a little weird to have him change sizes from scene to scene.
2) There is NO WAY that someone could stand on top of the Empire State Building in stiletto heels! Not going to happen. She would blow the hell right off that thing! Does she know how windy it is up there?

In other news, I'm much less concerned about my Grad School application now that I've talked with all my professors and they have assured me that they will turn in the recommendations in on time. Whew.

Go Seahawks! I actually watched the game on Sunday. Well, I watched most of it......about half of it really. I mean, it was obvious after five minutes of watching it that they were going to win. Why waste more of my day?

Walking on a Deathbed, and other stories...

2006-01-19T10:51:00.000-08:00

As I was walking to work today, many students were crossing campus as well. I pity those poor souls with 8 am classes. Or at least I would if I didn't have to be here at 8am everyday, every quarter. Anyway, I was walking to work, when out of my peripheral vision I noticed some guy trip on the bricks. It was a big trip. He didn't fall and there were no flailing arms, but it wasn't just a minor trip. After a second, I realized that while I noticed it, I didn't turn my head or laugh. I just acknowledged it. And that's when it hit me:
Neither did anyone else.
The condition of the bricks at Western have become accepted knowledge. Everyone who goes here knows about them, and realizes that at least 10 - 15 times during their time here (depending on length of stay), any one person will trip on the bricks. That's why no one looks. Tripping is not some rare occurrence, and it happens to everyone, that's why we don't laugh. YOU could be next.Just an observation.

In other news, it has now been 19 days on the beardwatch. I was thinking that since the last time I shaved was before I went out on New Year's Eve, I haven't shaved at all in 2006. Maybe I should go the entire year. As of now, I am 19/365ths of the way there. Or 5.21% for you percentages buffs. I'm thinking of the Obi-Wan look, circa Episode III.

Whenever possible, use the word "transubstantiate" in your musical. It will increase the humor and intelligence ten-fold, thereby making yours the funniest musical EVER. See "Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical" for an example.

This is why I love TV:
FRANCIE: "Yes, well, my time is precious, so if I’m not gonna truly commit to a grudge, I’d like to move on and put that energy somewhere else. Come on, what do you say? Friends, sort of?"

In addition, I'm getting a little concerned because I've got 12 days until my grad school application is due, and my professors haven't turned in their recommendations. If I don't get in to grad school because of something beyond my control, I'm going to be very upset.

It took nine long months....

2006-01-18T12:59:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to a CD (Avril Lavigne, Under My Skin; one of my favorites) right now, and it's bringing back quite a few memories from my time down in California. I remember the first time I listened to it. I was driving from the post office back to work at the hotel. For the first time since I left, I really miss California life. Well, not exactly. I miss the people, I miss the Thai food, I miss living near a real beach, I miss the fact that Santa Barbara and Hollywood were both less than an hour away and yes, I miss the sun (for the moment). I keep having these glimpses of doing things, like driving over the bridge with Channel Islands Harbor to my right. I really hope I can visit soon.

If I get dooced for this, I really wouldn't care.

2005-12-22T10:17:00.000-08:00

Imagine a soldier who is told to go to war, heads over there, then, when that soldier gets there, they are told they can't use any firearms. Then they are told they can't use any weapons whatsoever. Then they are told they can't use the radio. Then they are told all they should do is sit and peel potatoes all day. Even when they are done, just sit there, because "Policy" dictates that each soldier does ONE thing, and cannot overlap duties, and they are not authorized to do anything else, even though they know how to do Everything else.
When all of you wonder why I have time to check my email or Myspace all day, think of that soldier.

Good Times

2005-12-14T19:41:00.000-08:00

I spent my lunch break today scanning old pictures so I could post them online, and freak people out with some old school stuff. This post is devoted to great friends. Brooke, since you come on here, I hope you see these.

Ryan and I, Halloween 2002

Jolahna, Kevin, Brieanna, Me, Donnelle, Brooke and Scott.
Just as I'm about to board the plane to England.
Brooke and I, Picadilly, Freshmen year.
Me, Brooke and Carol. Freshmen year, Edens North, making gingerbread houses.

Two for the price of one.

2005-11-29T15:41:00.000-08:00

I'm going to post a two-parter blog, since I haven't done anything in a while. I apologize to my family who will be reading this and may be a bit concerned, having never seen this side of me before.

Fuck Off and Die (originally posted on Myspace, Oct 24, 2005)

What should have been a joyous night, filled with the sounds of Veronica Mars has deteriorated into an annoying....something.

To all those who purposefully create and spread viruses: Please, do us all a favor and FUCK OFF AND DIE. Seriously. Choke on you own vomit, fall off a cliff, may all you family and friends do the same, and FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!

Thanks to you, I will most likely have to format my hard drive, something I truly hate to do.

There is a special kind of Hell for people like you.

Fuck Off and Die, Part 2 (Originally posted on Myspace, Nov 21, 2005)

So, about a month ago, I wrote a little open letter to those people who think it's fun to spread viruses.

I'd like to expand that to those who break into cars and steal stereos. May you and all your family Fuck off and Die.

I hate everything right now. I hate the guy above/possibly to the side of me who always plays his music loud and only when I'm trying to go to bed or have a headache and I can also hear him loud and clear when he takes a piss. I hate every person who lives in my apartment complex because I think it might be that person, no THAT person who broke into my car, then laughs on the inside everytime they see me around. I hate the fact that I now have to buy a new stereo out of my own money because it's not worth $500. I hate that they may have done more damage than I can see now. I hate that I'm going to have to call the police tomorrow and possibly have to leave work to meet the officer who I'm sure won't do anything. I hate that I'll probably buy an alarm system for my POS, on top of the fact that my car is making weird smells and noises. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone please cheer me up.

There you go. Two for the price of one.

Overheard Saturday Night.

2005-10-31T14:12:00.000-08:00

"I'm drunk, not stupid!"

-Deanna, after being warned not to cross the street in front of the oncoming vehicle.

"It's Neo! He's the one! He's the One!!!!!"

-Random drunk guy from across the room, noticing my costume. Note: I was not Neo from the Matrix, however I could have been, because as everyone knows, I'm just that cool.

New friends (or are they old friends? Hmmm...)

2005-10-31T14:11:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I have been in the process of setting up a whole new friend base here in Bellingham. For the second time in about two years, I've had to start over from pretty much nothing. I've been lucky to meet some really cool new people up here (although more people my age would be nice...).
However, a strange thing has been happening over the past month or two. Not only have I been meeting new people, but I've been reconnecting with old friends as well. Like, really old friends. Friends that date back to before my first set of Bellingham friends. Myspace has been a big help in this, but it hasn't just been through Myspace. In fact, in the last two weeks alone, I have run into, or reconnected, with four people who I have not seen since high school. Crazy.
I was at this party on Saturday, and I here my name being shout out. I look around and don't see anyone I recognize. "Daniel -----," he says. Holy shit. This is a kid I've known for a long time, and he's all grown up now. Dude's bigger than me. Then last Wednesday at the FF/W concert, I here my name shout out, and it's f-n' Gregor from way back in the day. Haven't seen this guy in over six years. He tells me that Brad and Alex, who I haven't seen in just as long are back in E-town. Myspace got me back in touch with Jenni, and then I get an email from Rachel, haven't seen either of them in at least six or seven years. Crazy.
This has been a weird week or two. I hope to keep in touch and see these people again, and learn what they've been up to.

The Color, the Shape and the Hash Pipe!

2005-10-29T00:48:00.000-07:00

Last night was fantastic. My hearing is not all back yet, and my head still hurts a bit. But it was worth it. Oh so worth it.

The night began with the drive down to pick up Janet in freakin' Woodinville. Way out from the freeway, she (actually her family, since she really lives down by the beach in O-Town, SoCal) lives in a f-in' mansion! Okay, so then we head off to the Center House for some Gyros, bringing back memories of eighth grade Gold Pass trips.

We get to the KeyArena and since we have floor access, we make our way right up to spittin' distance from the stage. Actually, we were closer than I've ever been at a concert, but not so close that we would die from the freaks who choose to mosh.

Hot Hot Heat opened the night. They are a mediocre band, with a front man who looks like Carrot Top, and prances around like he's channeling Mick Jagger. This is a trend I've noticed a lot lately in other bands as well, like the Hives, the Vines and other crappy rock bands that show up on the cover of Rolling Stone under the headline "Rock is Back," only to fall into obscurity the next week. Anyway, back to Hot Hot Heat. Lots of energy, but all the songs sounded the same. I will not be buying any albums anytime soon.

Then came Weezer. Dear God. They rocked. I had liked Weezer before, but never owned any of their albums. That will now change. Unlike the crappy band that came before them, what struck me about Weezer is that every song had a different sound. And they rocked! Some highlights: After the initial set, Rivers appeared at the back of the arena and performed a solo acoustic rendition of "Island in the Sun." Awesome. After that, they pulled up a guy from the audience to play acoustic guitar with them for the Sweater Song. You could tell that this would be the Crowning moment it this young teenager's life. It's all downhill from here.

And the headliner was the Foo Fighters. Very loud. Very awesome. Dave talked a lot about how much he misses Seattle. Aurora Avenue especially. Fred Meyers in specific. Great set. My throat is still soar from shouting along to "My Hero," "Best of You" and other awesome songs. It was like a wall of sound blowing me away. I hadn't had that sudden effect of being hit like that since seeing Pneuma play.

I love both the Foo Fighters and Weezer, but in all honesty, I think the night belonged to Weezer. The Foo Fighters played a great energetic set, but Weezer changed it up and offered a lot of variety.

PS- I've never added links before, so I thought I'd go wild this time.

A Very Long Engagement

2005-09-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

Too often I get subjected to a movie that tries to overwhelm me with special effects or other forms of trickery in order to cover up the fact that it contains no real story. This is the second time I've seen this movie. The first was in a little independent cinema with really uncomfortable seats. Now, with the comfort of my own couch, I could relax and enjoy a beautiful story unfold. See, this movie doesn't just tell you one story. It tells you the story of the minor characters that the herione meets on her journey. This is not a movie for the attention-span deprived. If you think you can handle a story told deliberately, you must see this movie.

Mathilde and Manech are childhood sweethearts, who shortly after their engagement are separated when Manech must leave to fight on the frontlines during World War I. She receives notice three years later that he was killed in action. But she doesn't believe it, because if he died, she would know. Thus starts her journey to uncover what really happened out there. And it's soooooooo fantastic. Some of the best cinematography you'll ever see, and the music is just heartbreaking.

All right, that's enough from me. It's a great movie.

Time to get started.

2005-09-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

So, I've been putting off this thing for a while now. I've had an idea for a movie script since sometime during senior year at Western. For some reason I just haven't gotten around to writing it. I've got the ideas, but I've never been good at fleshing out the scenes with, you know, Words. I was watching this movie, Prozac Nation, and for some reason I got this urge to start Writing again. I don't think it was the movie itself, since it really wasn't that great or inspiring, but I did have a reaction to it. This is kind of a personal blog, something I don't think I've done before. Then again, it is My site. I guess I've been putting off a lot of things lately (or for a long time). I think it's time to get Started.

Cat Karate.

2005-09-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

I normally hate cute pictures of cats and dogs. I have nothing against cats and dogs, I just don't get the "Ah, what a cute picture." This, on the other hand, is just plain funny. I found it on some guy's Myspace site. I don't remember who it was, but I can't take credit for it. I call it Cat Karate.

Today's Lunch.

2005-09-13T15:00:00.000-07:00

Today I brought a Hot Pocket for lunch. I have had many Hot Pockets for lunch over the past couple weeks. I didn't really feel like a Hot Pocket, but I brought it anyway, as I wanted to save money. So I went over to the VU, and I unwrapped my Hot Pocket, inserted it in the "microwave sleeve," and placed it in the microwave for 45 seconds. I then rotated the Hot Pocket 90 degrees, and microwaved it for 45 more seconds. I then removed the Hot Pocket from the microwave. As I was lifting the Hot Pocket so that it would slide out of the "microwave sleeve," and onto the napkins in my hand, it did not do this. Instead, it slid out of the "microwave sleeve" and past the napkins, and onto the floor. I stood there for a second or two, then picked up the Hot Pocket and placed it in the trash. This is why you should not prepare something you don't want to eat, because it will find a way to prevent you from eating it. I then proceeded to buy a sandwich. The End.

Happy Columbus Day!!!

2005-08-17T16:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, it was a joke.
Here are some responses. The names have been omitted to protect the innocent.
--------
You make me laugh!Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it to your bash. But we do need todo an after-work drink sometime soon.
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*Blank* and I are jumping in the car right now!
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Date challenged, are we?
--------
You're such a dork!
------
This is so outrageous, but if you're serving pasta I just might be there. You realize that it's August if course.
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christopher columbus was a brutal terrorist who landed on the completely wrong continent and immediately proceeded to slaughter the natives, give them diseases, and wipe out their food sources.-
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DRIVE CAREFULLY AND WATCH FOR CHRISTOPHER AND HIS COLUMBUS DAY CELEBRATIONS.
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Isn't Columbus Day in October? Anyway, sorry I won't be able to come, since I won't be in the states until Easter.
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I'M SURE SOMEONE HAS ALREADY REMINDED YOU THE CALENDAR SAY'S THIS YEAR'S COLUMBUS DAY IS ON MONDAY, OCTOBER 10TH. THAT WILL GIVE YOU 2 WHOOPEE DAYS.
---------

Cindy Sheehan - Does she really deserve an audience?

2005-08-16T18:33:00.000-07:00

Unless you just don't pay attention to the news, you probably know who Cindy Sheehan is. Just in case you don't, her son was killed in Iraq last year, and she is holding a vigil outside George W. Bush's ranch in Texas, demanding an audience with the president.
I don't know whether it was today or yesterday, but sometime this last week, one of Bush's neighbors fired a shotgun over the group of protesters that has begun to gather. This is a heinous act that only proves hicks still exist in this country.
But the real question is: Does Cindy Sheehan really deserve an audience? What has she done that makes her more important than the millions of people who want an audience with Bush? Is it because her son was killed? That would make thousands of families eligible. Does that make her voice more important than mine? I pay my taxes. I vote. Does Bush have that kind of time? Apparently so, since he has the time to take the entire month of August off for vacation. But I digress.
With a little research, you will discover that Cindy Sheehan has already had an audience with the president. We can assume that this was a grieving session, in which Bush used the time to console Sheehan and her family. Why should she get another shot? And another thing: Who can say what her son would think? Can she really say she is speaking for him? I know I may get some flack for that, but it's the truth. It's along the same thread as Pro-War activists saying that those who died in the Twin Tower tragedy would question the patriotism of anyone who questioned the war. Did we learn nothing from Jeremy Glick on the O'Reilly Factor?
After thinking a little while, I can only come up with one answer, and that is this:
George W. Bush is a horrible, horrible president. I mean really, taking the entire month of August off? You're the president! You don't get vacations!
Sorry, I kind of veered off there. The question as to whether or not Cindy Sheehan deserves an audience becomes a moot point if we consider the fact that this whole situation stopped becoming just about a woman and her son. It's really a larger reflection of a president ignoring his country. This is a president who has held steadfast on his beliefs in spite of criticism. No, not just criticism. Facts.
I despise this man and what he has put our country through, but if I take a step back and put, for example, Bill Clinton, a president whom I admire, into Bush's position, I realize that my position on Cindy Sheehan would change. I could say that I think that Clinton would allow an audience, but there is no way to know what would happen in that situation.
All I can say is that Cindy Sheehan was allowed an audience, but now she wants another. Sorry lady. Back to the end of the line. I've got some things to say.

2005-08-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I love this picture. My childhood playground, brought to ruins. The loss of innocence! Oh, the AGONY!!!!

Do you really, really know me?

2005-08-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was bored and I made this quiz about me.

Take it. I'm going to be using it to screen out my real friends from my fake ones.

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050815220027-87416

Man, I gotta take a whiz!

2005-08-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

So, in order to alleviate the boredom that we endure each day at work, my friend and I decided to give each other challenges. Today, she had to say "dude" at the beginning or end of each and every sentence. Today, I have to drink a full bottle full of water every hour, for twelve hours. I started out fine, but I'm starting to question whether I'll be able to make it. Six or seven trips to the restroom each hour is really starting to cut into my work time.

For every guy who hates this stupid song...

2005-08-16T14:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, apparently you're not supposed to write on these things about your work, otherwise you might get fired (see www.dooce.com), so I won't. Instead I'll write about the most annoying and obnoxious song ever. And my most recent THREE MINUTES, FIFTY-EIGHT SECONDS OF TORTURE just occurred while at work, so it all fits. This song is about daughters. It's about fathers. It's about mothers. It's about the stupidest THREE MINUTES, FIFTY-EIGHT SECONDS OF TORTURE I've ever heard. I mean really, what is the point of this song? Does John Mayer have some parental issues? Does he feel the need to represent every guy looking out for every girl? That's like George W. Bush representing every American. He doesn't represent me. John Mayer doesn't represent me, because if this were the song representing me, I'd have to shoot myself. No, I don't have a gun, so I'd be willing to use whatever blunt instrument currently at my disposal to end these THREE MINUTES, FIFTY-EIGHT SECONDS OF TORTURE. I realize I've rambled quite a bit on this subject. Now where's my Britney Spears...

Krispy Kremes - Really not that great.

2005-08-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

So, the dumbing down of America is quite apparent when movies like Dumb and Dumberer (the sequel, not the brilliant original) and Bringing Down the House even make a place in the Top 10 movies of the week. We all know this. And yet, there is something bigger and more profoundly stupid making its way to the far reachs of our country, and it is just as bad: Krispy Kreme donuts. I am not a fan of the Krispy Kreme donut, and I have nothing against those who enjoy them. What I just don't understand (and feel free to comment, because I'm dying to know the answer) is what is the obsession with Krispy Kreme donuts? Why do people drive for miles to sit for hours to get these things. When the Krispy Kreme in Burlington opened up, there was an article in the Western Front about it. Okay, fine. I can deal. They quoted some guy who said something along the lines of "hey, I don't normally like donuts, but I love Krispy Kremes! They're grrrrrrrreat!" Now, this may not be exactly what he said, because this was a few years ago, and my memory's just not what it used to be since I turned 24. I have two things to say: 1) Krispy Kremes are like the McDonald's of donuts. Yes, they are full of sugar, but I defy you to find one person, just one, who considers McDonald's to be their favorite hamburgers. And this includes anything on the menu, even the Quarter Pounder with Cheese (Royale with Cheese for my French readers), which I happen to like. Krispy Kremes are not the best donuts. And the second thing I have to say is, and I cannot stress this enough (I'll even bold it for you):

THEY'RE JUST DONUTS!!!!!

Try to wrap your head around that one, people. It's not the second coming, it's a donut. Now, head over to Henry's in Everett. They'll show you what a donut is all about.