You might be a loser if.....

If you need your parents to order your transcripts (see also: fill out application, discuss fines, etc.), YOU DO NOT BELONG IN COLLEGE. This is especially evident when your father calls and you are IN THE ROOM!!!

If you are the parent in this case, it's time to cut the umbilical cord. Let them go.....they will be better for it.

Those who currently reside in third world countries are exempt.